Thursday, August 5, 2010

Here Come the Mummies Interview

I'm not really sure what to say about these guys. They dress up in mummy costumes for every show, and each member has their own made-up moniker. They claim to have been around for 5000 years. They wouldn't even tell me who I was actually interviewing.

They're funky. They're frenetic. They're apparently pretty horny. Ladies and gentlemen, Here Come the Mummies.

First off, thank you so much for taking the time to do this. It’s not every day that I get to interview actual mummies, not to mention the most badass mummies on the planet. So it says on your About page on your website that you guys are about 5000 years old. What has it been like trying to adjust to society and music over the years? Can we safely assume you guys invented funk music?

Most men know that there is great pleasure derived from a good adjustment. Many things change over time, but ladies digging dancing is not one of them. Sure, we had to deal with Victorian prudery, but all we had to do was get on a boat for a few weeks and voila … dancing Amazons. As far as inventing funk, no, we do not credit ourselves with that. We have always played the current music of loving and pelvic gyration, and when funk appeared on the scene in the late 1960’s, we jumped aboard.

You’ve had 5000 years to perfect your craft. What made you choose to play funk?

Faced with options, which genre would you choose? Self indulgent, whiny rock about the hard pitfalls of life and love? Sweet and soulful jazz without a paycheck? No, any sensible person would opt for fun, optimistic music reveling in the sunny, sweat of bosom shaking and merriment.

So why exactly are all of the mummies so sexual? Are the ladies just not attracted to all that wrapping, causing desperation after all these lonesome years?

Are we really any more sexual than anyone else? Nope. We just embrace it more, and do not believe in beating around the bush. We go straight in. I am unsure if your readers have been to a show and seen how the ladies feel about mummies. It is safe to say that everybody loves a sexy mummy.

What was the best venue you’ve ever played at?

Best? That is difficult. A successful show is not measured by the venue, but by the crowd. The large crowds of outdoor festivals like Summerfest or Riverbend are great, but so are the indoor venues like The Vogue or The Pageant that pack a thousand people or so in, so we can all raise the roof together.

The Mummy lineup typically changes for various shows while you’re on tour. Where do these other mummies go while they’re not playing shows?

Some go back to their air conditioned crypts for champagne sipping and Roman style lovefests. Others head back to the studios of Nashville to carve out hits.

The comments for each show on your Tour Schedule are brilliant. Who writes them, and where does he get the time to? Also, are we still down for that show in Fantasy Island in a few years? You better not back out on that.

Java Mummy normally writes those descriptions while eating his morning bagel. We will be there for the Fantasy Island gig, but Tattoo keeps pushing the date back.

How excited were all of you to have some of your music featured in the film Fired Up?

Sure, we are always excited to have our music hit new ears, though we normally prefer to hear our tunes during love scenes with full nudity.

You sell a lot of interesting merchandise. And coffee. Why coffee?

Why coffee? Why not? Java Java was too good to pass up. Often, we do things just to make ourselves laugh. This was no exception.

Can you tell us about any planned upcoming album releases?

We are hoping to have a new recording out this October. The working title is “Carnal Carnival,” and it is coming along swimmingly.

No comments:

Post a Comment